Once again a very thoughtful response, thank you. I think we agree about a lot and appreciate you taking the time to share your views. I wish I had the time to respond more in detail, but few things I had to share:

1. I’m not blaming victims here. Recognizing that white men are people with feelings too, even if they are less important in this context as I’ve said several times, does not diminish what is being done to me. A lot of white people do not agree that they’re causing racial trauma and I’m deeply unclear on what you think we should do: just completely ignore them? (I also say several times it’s the responsibility of minorities to educate, but it does help when we do.)
2. What most of the people of color I know and many leading scholars on this propose is a lot of targeted discussion, especially in colleges. So making sure college classes and interactions are diverse AND inclusive. Splitting up based on race is not a good idea. It’s not that minorities can’t have only minority spaces. It’s that I’m scared of whites having white only spaces. (Depending on how it’s being done, it might also just be outright illegal, of course. Still, it happens.) We should always criticize white-only spaces and ask them why they’re excluding minorities and how they can work harder to include us.
3. I can’t tell you how much you’re erasing Indian culture by not recognizing how actually wrong and not necessarily related to colonialism the anti-white thing in interracial marriages is. There are so many books, art, and culture in the Indian community about marrying white people and how it’s 100% racism. Just like I know there’s a lot I cannot know about the Black experience and completely understand the way in which Black culture has been appropriated and misused, I don’t think you’re quite understanding the experience of other cultural minorities who are in extremely different situations. Basically EVERY SINGLE desi woman I know has had problems because of this. It’s a part of our culture and our diaspora culture. Just because you’re okay with the very real trauma and damage the anti-white discrimination in dating causes in the Asian community doesn’t mean I have to be. You can say you’re okay with the jokes about your relationships and say it’s justified because of colonialism, but you can’t speak for me or again, almost all desi people I know. It affects minority women too (I’d say mostly). We get screamed at or worse for it. Seriously, there are so many books and articles on this, what even. Grandchildren get disowned when a parent is white. This stuff has seriously impacted me and my family. A lot of Indians love the British and are grateful for the British so it’s not about their dislike of white colonialism; it’s literally about expectations that white people don’t care about family, have stupid traditions, etc. etc. Or just plain colorism + diluting the purity of the Indian race. (And you can say this piece is about America only, but 1) a lot of the commenters + my audience isn’t entirely American and 2) Indian Hindus in this country use the same logic to discriminate against Muslims in this country.)