I'm really sorry you had to live through all that. Parental abuse is awful (as is spousal abuse). It all really sucks and I'm glad you found out and are hopefully on the road to recovery now. It's also so empowering that you're willing to share!

But don't assume naiviete of positive people; it can be very harmful. As you may have read, I did drop an Author's Note at the bottom because I happen to unfortunately be well-aware of what abusive relationships look like and that these tips don't work.

I'll repeat the Author's Note here because I think it's important: "I do not advocate staying with an emotionally or physically abusive spouse or parent, especially if they show no signs of wanting to improve or get therapy, no matter how much you think they love you or you love them."

One tip from the article might work: overcommuniating. Often you can realize that someone is not treating you well if they will not discuss issues, laugh at you or gaslight you when you bring up concerns, and refuse to even sit down for the conversation.

But many marriages are not abusive. They just consist of two imperfect people trying to live together and be happy.