How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You

It’s a five step process that rarely fails.

Photo by Renate Vanaga on Unsplash

Since I was about fifteen years old, I have always been the love guru in my friend circle. The matchmaker. The wingwoman. The dating profile hacker.

Though I didn’t date a ton myself, I spent three years researching everything that was out there in social science about friendships, romance, and relationships. Then I applied it to my twenty-somethings friends who were down on their luck and desperate for love.

And I started to notice a pattern. There were certain steps along the process to falling in love that almost everyone used, subconsciously or otherwise. Something would feel right — and two weeks later, they were dating. Or something would feel off and it would predict a nasty breakup. So I watched from the sidelines and started taking notes.

When I realized I wanted to make closer friendships, I started applying some of the lessons I learned to my own relationships. I’d heard a lot about platonic love and had missed out on close childhood or high school friends. Over the next few years, dozens of my friends fell in romantic love with me (often much to my chagrin and confusion) and I eventually had to learn to dial it back.

So these are lessons learned both the easy way and the hard way. Now, here are the secrets.

Step One: Make sure they are open to falling in love with you and you actually want them to.

When writing this article, I almost wanted to say these tips are only for women. This was not because these tips don’t work for men but because, in my experience, men cross so many boundaries when they can’t recognize they are making women uncomfortable.

So if you take only one thing away from this article, take this. Walk away if they say “no.” First of all, if they’re actually interested, they’ll express interest later (it’s now their turn and being busy is attractive). Second, stalking people and making them uncomfortable is never okay and no one finds this romantic, no matter what movies have led you to believe.

Also, make sure you want them to fall in love with you. Spend at least two weeks after you first…