Lately (probably thanks to Valentine’s season), I’ve been reminiscing about my single life. Specifically, I’ve been thinking about all the men who hit on me, were friends with me, and who faded away when I didn’t return the feelings. The men who loved me, who didn’t love me, and who hated me. The men who manipulated me and made me think I was a terrible person for not giving more of myself to them.
And while thinking about my past, I realized something that has been floating in my subconscious for a long time but that I hadn’t put into words: bad boys are much better men than nice guys.
Before I share my ten reasons why, a few disclaimers. First, this article is only about Bad Boys™ and Nice Guys™. There are in fact other men out there (does Chris Evans even have a category?) and if you happen to find the Witty Best Friend or the Artistic Loner, good for you. But I do think it’s true that many men fall into these two stereotypes.
Second, this article is about my experiences and I could be completely wrong. That being said, I have found bad boys and nice guys to be remarkably similar: across sexualities, cultures, and race.
And third, this article isn’t about criminals, i.e., men who rape, sexually assault, or sexually harass you. There’s a stereotype out there that bad boys are grabby, but in my opinion, those people aren’t even worthy of me writing an article about their dateability. I’m talking about bad boys who respect women’s bodies, not evil men who don’t.
So, let’s get started. What exactly is a Bad Boy? A Bad Boy is a rugged rebel, a stoic sex-god, a dangerous heart-breaker. He’s confident, knows what he wants, and doesn’t need you or a long-term commitment. If you don’t want to sleep with him, that’s fine. There’s a dozen other people out there dying for his attention.
A Nice Guy is your best friend, but secretly wants to get in your pants. He’s sweet and attentive and your shoulder to cry on. He will pour out his heart and expect you to fix the pieces. He wants to get married and raise your children. He doesn’t understand why all women are awful and his kindness hasn’t yet been rewarded with sex.